1. |
Tell Me I'm Not Crazy
02:47
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the prophet came home crying
and said I've had a vision
khadija oh khadija please believe me
I don't know what's real or not
I'm feeling pretty shaken
khadija my khadija please don't leave me
wrap me in a blanket
lay my head upon your lap
pet my hair and tell me
not to think of all of that
tell me I'm not crazy love
tell me I'm ok
everything is way too much
not sure I'll see the day
tell me I'll get through this love
kiss me, hold me close
tell me I'm not crazy love
don't let me be alone
and i've never heard an angel
but sometimes i come home crying
and need someone to listen and believe me
cuz i've heard things from a memory
and felt like i was dying
so please be my Khadija babe don't leave me
just wrap me in a blanket
lay my head upon your lap
pet my hair and tell me not to think of all of that
cuz stronger men than me
have been in this same space
sometimes you just need someone
to remind you that you're safe
tell me i'm not crazy love
tell me I'm ok
everything is way too much
not sure I'll see the day
tell me I'll get through this love
kiss me, hold me close
tell me I'm not crazy love
don't let me be alone
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2. |
Ode To Spite
01:23
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he was young and i was young
we didn't know who we were yet
and we hooked up a couple times
i thought that we'd go far
and back then i was pretty hurt
when i heard that he had denied it
i went and got a baseball bat
and smashed his stupid car
they say that you should let go
of the grudges in your mind
but spite is all i'm running on
and i turned out just fine
oh she was young and i was young
but not as young as i once was
she said her boyfriend didn't mind
i wanted to believe
when she finally told me that
actually we'd been cheating
i tackled her in a parking lot
outside an HEB
they say that you should let go
of the grudges in your mind
but spite is all i'm running on
and i turned out just fine
and now i'm somewhat older
and i wish to god i was wiser
if i ever made good choices
i would walk away from you
when i see you at a party
and you're looking at me with death eyes
of course i'm gonna start this fight
it's all i ever do
they say that you should let go
of the grudges in your mind
but spite is all i'm running on
and i turned out just fine
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3. |
Hana Kimura
01:35
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i got back into wrestlin' in a pretty bad depression
when i wasn't sure who i wanted to be
a raver girl samurai caught my eye
and it seems silly but she meant a lot to me
she was style she was grace and she refused to know her place
a shameless brat who'd never back down from a fight
and when she won the grand prix for a second it seemed
like everything in my world was alright
i wished i was more like hana kimura
pretty and brash and strong and so sure of myself
i wished i didn't need help
wanted to make my problems go away
with a running start and a kick in the face
yes sir
wanted to be like her
i remember when i saw her for the first time out of character
on some dating show just trying to find love
she was blunt but she was sweet and she was loud but she was meek
she hid her face when she was talking to her crush
sad eyes and nervous laughter she would yell and then cry after
and i know that you can fake it on tv
but i couldn't help but feel that she was being kind of real
and it shocked me she reminded me of me
i felt a lot like hana kimura
saying too much anxious unsure of myself
always fragile as hell
but doing my best to cover it up
like it's fine if i just smile bright enough yes sir
i guess i was like her
and if you're listening to this song you probably know that she's passed on
and this isn't the best place to tell that story
but even though i didn't know her i still wish i could have told her
that she helped me through a lot and that i'm sorry
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4. |
For Zee
02:41
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i've been trying to eat
on days i don't want to
i've been trying to clean
when i know i'll see you
i've been trying to get up more and walk around
and part of me hopes you don't notice
like if one us says it i'll find out we broke it
but i guess that thought's as silly as it sounds
still i'm pretty sure you know
my friends all say it's like i'm someone else
and either way i hope it shows
cuz you make me want to take care of myself
cuz if i'm being honest
you're out of my league
you've got a real grownup job
you're way smarter than me
and the way that you laugh is the cutest thing in the world
so i'm frantically trying
to clean up my shit
and to hold it together
just a little bit
you deserve someone great and i wanna be that girl
i love you and i hope you know
i'm doing my best even when you can't tell
but i hope it's enough to show
you make me want to take care of myself
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5. |
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when you were fifteen you fucked up your life for a crush
and all of the therapy and all the drugs that they gave you were never enough
to block out the things that you did and the things that you've seen
but they shoved you back into the world when you were nineteen
your therapist asks if you have any thoughts of self harm
you mumble a lie on your video call as you quietly cover your arms
you know you'd be back in inpatient if you told the truth
but you feel just as trapped cuz you live your whole life in your room
it's all that you know how to do
and all you want is
someone you know you can talk to
but when you talk
you wonder if you really should
you say that you're
doing your best to move on but
look around
your best might not be that good
you know you'd grow up if could
when you tell your story in public it's how you'd expect
the worst kind of people just pile on and say you deserve what you get
or tell you what they would do differently if they were you
as if it were only that easy and as if they knew
what it's like to be in your shoes
and all you want is
someone you know you can talk to
but when you talk
you wonder if you really should
you say that you're
doing your best to move on but
look around
your best might not be that good
you'd be someone else if you could
so you always settle for the worst kind of sympathy
you always settle for the worst kind of sympathy
you always settle for the worst kind of sympathy
and who could really blame you for not knowing what happens next
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6. |
Crying Over You
01:44
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you were there for all the sorrows
you were there for all the joys
you were there when i was crying
over stupid girls and boy
but ever since you hurt me
i just don't know what to do
cuz there's nobody to lean on
when i'm crying over you
the first time we were broken up
we swore we'd just be friends
but we stayed too close together
til of course we tried again
and you said that you were different now
i guess that wasn't true
and i'm feeling like an idiot
for crying over you
you were there for all the sorrows
you were there for all the joys
you were there when i was crying
over stupid girls and boys
but ever since you hurt me
i just don't know what to do
cuz there's nobody to lean on
when i'm crying over you
the jacket that you gave me
was too big i didn't care
cuz the thought of you was comforting
i wore it everywhere
but now it's in my dresser
in a drawer i never use
because even looking at it
leaves me crying over you
you were there for all the sorrows
you were there for all the joys
you were there when i was crying
over stupid girls and boys
but ever since you hurt me
i just don't know what to do
cuz there's nobody to lean on
when i'm crying over you
i'll still tell a joke you'd laugh at
or i'll see something you'd like
and i always wanna share with you
and ask about your life
but that's when i remember
and i don't know what to do
cuz there's nobody to lean on
when i'm crying over you
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7. |
Memorial Day
01:32
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there's flags all around me and the cemetery's crowded
as people light their grills for memorial day
i'm sitting in the grass and getting angry at your headstone
i'm still learning to spit while i cry on your grave
i remember when they told us that your plane had been shot down
and i remember breaking down in your bedroom the next day
it's still the way you left it and it's hard to keep perspective
i'm still learning to spit while i cry on your grave
cuz even though i miss you and i loved you you deserved it
and i'm wondering what right do i even have to cry
when i know that you're the reason for so many empty bedrooms
and kids who grow up terrified of clear blue skies
if i hear that you're a hero one more time i'm gonna break things
but i still visit your headstone for memorial day
and every year i tell myself that next time i'll stay home but
i'm still learning to spit while i cry on your grave
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8. |
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down by the salley gardens
my love and i did meet
she passed the sally gardens
on little snow white feet
she bid me take love easy
as the leaves grow on the trees
but i was young and foolish
and with my love could not agree
in a field down by the river
my love and i did stand
and on my leaning shoulder
she laid a snow white hand
she bid me take life easy
as the grass grows on the weirs
but i was young and foolish
and now am full of tears
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9. |
One Morning In June
02:21
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one morning in june as i chanced to ramblin'
i met a cailín a fair one was she
she was so handsome i fell wild in love with her
wounded to death for she smiled charmingly
asked her her name and what happy fate was it
turned your steps this way my bright love so fair
my heart it will break if you don't come along with me
goodbye forever to sorrow and care
"i am a young girl from the coast far meandering
honestly reared though of no high degree
i being so airy for such was my nature
it made me own parents and me disagree"
says i my a stóirín if you listen to me a while
i'll tell you a story that's pleasant to see
that i'm a young man who is totally in love with you
surely my heart is from roguery free
"oh go you bold rogue you be wanting to flatter me
a bird in the hand is worth two in the tree
and i've neither wheat nor potatoes nor anything
nor blankets to keep off cold nights that will be"
well never mind that i'll buy tea and a dress for you
good english cotton the best in the fair
so powder your hair love and come away along with me
goodbye forever to sorrow and care
there's an alehouse nearby we'll take our delight in
if you're satisfied love and i promise you'll be
earlier next morning we'll send for the clergyman
who'll bind us as tight as the bark to the treat
we will stay drinkin' as long as the money lasts
take the road homeward with hearts light as air
when the reck'ning is paid sure who cares for the landlady
goodbye forever to sorrow and care
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10. |
Fall Apart
01:18
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got a binder and a collar
got these braces on my wrists
they're what's holding me together
while i deal with all of this
cuz when everything is static
and i'm trying not to cry
there's still certain things i gotta do
to keep myself alive
don't know how much longer i can do this
when will it be safe to fall apart
could you lay down on my stomach
i could use a little weight
just an anchor on my body
so my mind can't float away
all the clothes are substitutions
making do when i'm not home
but there's nothing like the real thing
now that finally we're alone
i wish we could stay like this forever
keep the door closed let me fall apart
if you want to understand me
know that in my heart of hearts
my whole life is just the choice i make
of when to fall apart
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Garlic Bread & Roses Washington
queer country folk trash
we strive for earnestness first,
catchiness second,
and everything else a distant third
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